Then twilight finally passed, and it was 9 pm....
It started with Noah and Monica sneaking over to Kim & Bruce's house just after nine. I grabbed the many bags of kazoos and began passing them out. I could hear a few people blowing into them, and I kept shouting "Don't blow! Hum! And don't be gross!" And eventually you could hear people playing the kazoos correctly. Oddly, not too many people asked questions, they just grabbed the kazoo and held onto it, like it's a normal part of a party.
I asked a cluster of Six Armsers to move their chairs, which they did not understand. I finally had to say "WE'RE DANCING HERE." and then they were like "Oh!" and moved. Because the Six Armsers completely understand the importance of a dance floor.
Once I could see Noah & Monica leaving Kim & Bruce's house, I had Marc light the candelabra, and then I got everyone's attention. (By shouting. Cuz that's how I do it.)
I said "I NEED YOUR HELP PLAYING THIS SONG, OKAY?" and I started to kazoo the Wedding March. Within a few notes, everyone else joined me. Fifty people kazooing the Wedding March is pretty cool.
And during the Wedding March, Monica walked from the patio across the pool to meet Noah.
And there they were wed.
At the top of my pool.
On my birthday.
We passed out big baskets that Kim provided full of flower petals (super scented, too - I think it was lavender, rose petals, and maybe even eucalyptus? Whatever it was, it was potent and beautiful smelling). As I was passing around one of the baskets for people to grab a handful, some people whispered "Is this real?" and I said "Yes!"
Here's what was said:

Wuv, Twu Wuv, is what brings us here together.
Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here this evening to witness the lawful union of Noah Gabriel Greenberg and Monica Suzanne Myers.

Monica and Noah met just over three years ago when Monica decided to get all hoochy-ed up and take salsa dancing lessons. That same evening, Noah came to the Century Ballroom to see who he could pick up. And there he met Monica!
Because Monica was not as experienced a dancer as her clothes had suggested to him, Noah took the opportunity to show her a few moves – and they’ve been dancing ever since!
Through good times and bad - camping trips, hang-overs, home renovations and a lot of cussing – they have vowed to stay together. And they come here before us in the beauty of these surroundings to be married.
Even though the real wedding in Toronto is in two weeks (that is, the one they’re actually spending money on that we’re not invited to!), they wanted to get legally married here with their friends in Seattle. Also, it was a lot easier than getting a license in Canada!

So, if anyone can think of ANY reason why these two people should not be legally united in marriage . . . speak now or forever hold your peace.

(long pause)

Since there are no meaningful objections:

Noah, do you take Monica to be your lawfully wedded wife?
And do you promise BEFORE GOD AND ALL OF THESE WITNESSES
To be her lawfully wedded husband?
Do you promise:
to forgive her occasional surliness and tolerate her annoying church members?
to love her even when she is bloated and irritable?
And do you promise to never, ever ask her to tend your worm bin?
(if so respond, “I sure do”)

Monica, do you take Noah to be your lawfully wedded husband?
And do you promise BEFORE GOD AND ALL OF THESE WITNESSES
To be his lawfully wedded wife?
Do you promise:
to forgive him occasional surliness and tolerate his tendency to make gigantic messes everywhere?
to love him even when he goes inexplicably deaf at key moments?
And do you promise to never, ever ask him to go out to the car in the rain at midnight in his robe to get something you forgot?
(if so respond, "I sure do")

We will close with an inspirational reading:
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

And now by the very limited power invested in me by King Co. Executive Ron Sims, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may now kiss!
(When they kissed, the crowd cheered and I'll bet it was heard through the whole neighborhood.)

Dearly beloved, I present to you “Reverand and Mister Monica Myers”

.... and they walked back across the pool and flower petals were showered from every direction.
I wanted to cry.

Being wed by Rev. Nancy Gowler Johnson

Spectators

(Just where exactly is that torch coming from?!?)

Sorry, I was far away

Rev. Jill Delaney reads a Woody Allen monologue

I like the silhouettes of the people along the Christmas lights

Watching the wedding

Flower petals in their hands, ready to go

Just Married

And covered in flower petals

Bliss

Photo taken by Jeff (thanks, Jeff!)